It's More Than I Can Take
by DarkenedTragedyXx
Summary: DEATH SENTENCE Inspired by the song "Let Go" by RED. Bella is in love with Billy Darley. She always stays by his side through everything. But can something push her to the edge that makes her just want to run away? Bella's POV BillyDarleyxOC
1. Hey you, look what you do to me

**It's More Than I Can Take**

**A Death Sentence Fan Fiction**

**Inspired by: "Let Go" By RED**

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT own anything from the movie Death Sentence, including Billy Darley… Sadly. The only person I own is Bella.**

**Author Note: I absolutely love the movie Death Sentence. I really loved Billy Darley's character (and not just because of Garrett Hedlund). Anyways, I noticed that not many people have written fictions for Death Sentence. I thought I'd give it a shot and this is what I came up with. Hope you all like it and hoping this story does good. Rated T for some swearing here and there. Rating may change later on(if continued). Story will be in Bella's POV.**

Chapter 1:

I hated the reflection that stared back at me. A bruise was beginning to form on the right side of my jaw line. I guess I deserved it. That's what you get for pissing off Billy Darley. He didn't hurt me a lot. Actually it's a rare action from him towards me. I guess its just when I severely piss him off. Our relationship has never been perfect. We argued and fought like any "normal" couple. Our arguments were completely different though. I should have left a long time ago. I guess the only reason I've stayed for so long is because I love him. With everything going on, its just starting to become overwhelming. Deep down, I knew this is where I wanted to be though.

I heard the front door open and close. I sighed heavily and turned on the faucet. Cupping water into my hands, I rinsed my face off. I searched around for the towel with my eyes closed and finally found it. I gently dabbed my face dry and looked at my reflection. I gasped and jumped as I saw Billy standing there, with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorway, watching me. "Jesus, give me a fucking heart attack Darley." I said hanging the towel back up and shoved passed him. "Sorry." He apologized with a smirk. "Thought you were going out." I shouted from our bedroom. I guess cleaning was a way for me to stop stressing. I don't know how, but it worked. "Nah, not until later." Billy said as he came in the room.

He walked behind me and put his hands on my upper arms. "Besides…"He said getting close to my ear. "I wanted to spend time with you." He whispered softly. I rolled my eyes at the way he tried to sweet talk me into everything. "Yeah…What for?! To make up for the bruise on my jaw? Thanks by the way." I snapped angrily. It was a stupid move on my part to make him mad again, but I was still mad form last night. Billy sighed in frustration and spun me around to face him. I closed my eyes tight expecting to be hit again. Instead, I felt light kissed on my bruised jaw line trailing to my lips. My arms looped around Billy's neck as I kissed him back.

This is exactly how we always were. He'd get into trouble, we'd get in an argument, we'd kiss and make up the next day, I'd help him get out of trouble (along with his gang) any way I could (if I could at all), and things would run smoothly for awhile. I was getting sick of this lifestyle, but like I said I love Billy. He always protects and looks after me. I always feel safe no matter what. Even in the most deadly situations. "Where is Joe?" I asked. "I don't know. Probably out with the other guys." He answered as he kissed my neck. "I thought you were supposed to be with him today, that's why I thought you left earlier." I replied as I looked at him. "Why are you so interested in bringing Joe…" I stopped realizing what was going on.

"You're having Joe join the gang aren't you?" I asked. "Not right away, but yes." Billy answered honestly. "The whole initiation thing, that's you've all been planning? That's what all your meetings have been about?" I asked. "Most, not all." He answered plainly as he lay down on the bed on his back. "What happens?" I asked curiously as I sat beside Billy on my side of the bed. "Don't worry about it." He answered with his eyes closed. I hated how he always kept me in the dark. He'd tell me things about his dealings but yet when I'd ask questions, he'd shut me out. It surprised me how little he thought I knew.

I rolled my eyes and stood up. I grabbed my jacket as I headed out the front door, slamming it behind me. I walked out of the apartment building and down the street. I continued to walk ignoring everyone as I walked by. I heard the sound of the mustang; I knew it wouldn't be long. I continued to walk as the mustang pulled up beside me and he started driving slowly. "Would you get in the car." He shouted as he continued to drive beside me. I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "Now." I heard the anger in his voice as he stopped the car and opened the passenger door from inside the car. I stopped walking and hesitated as I turned to the car. I got inside and shut the door. I looked at Billy and saw the look on his face. He wouldn't look me in the eyes. He wouldn't look at me at all for that matter.

The drive to the apartment was silent. I figured that much though. I entered back through the front door of our apartment and waited for whatever was about to be said. I threw my jacket on the couch and went to the kitchen. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and cracked it open. "You drive me crazy, you know that?" I heard him say form behind me. "Yeah?" Well you're not any easier to deal with." I said facing him. "Didn't know you drank." He said pointing towards the beer. "Didn't start until recently." I answered taking another sip. "What do you want me to say Bella?" Billy said raising his arms in the air and letting them drop to his sides again. "There is not a damn thing you can say." I said shoving passed him as I put the beer on the counter.

"Want to tell me what this is really about?" He asked me calmly as he followed me out the kitchen. "Billy, I love you. You know I do. Leading this gang has just kept digging you in deeper holes." I said. "Leading this gang has become one of the best things in my life besides you." He put his arms around my waist. "Why bring Joe into it?" I asked. "Joe wants part in this. He is my brother." Billy answered proudly. "Hes not like all of you!" I protested. "I think I know my brother more than you." He said harshly. "I'm sorry." I said softly. I traced the visible parts of his tribal tattoo on his neck. "I don't mean to make you mad." I said keeping my voice low. "I know." He said rubbing my bruise gently with his thumb. "Just watch out for him alright?" I said and he smirked.

A knock on the door could be heard and I looked towards it. I looked down as I knew he had to leave now. "I'll be home later." Billy said reading my mind. Billy moved his hands to my face and made me look up at him. "I love you." He said and I gave the best smile I could. "I Love you too." I said. Billy pressed his lips to mine giving me the kiss I longed for. Another loud couple knocks caused him to pull away from me. I pecked his lips a few times and watched as he left. I watched form the window as the two mustangs drove off. I just wondered what shape he'd come back to me this time…


	2. You bend and you bruise me

**It's More Than I Can Take**

**A Death Sentence Fan Fiction**

**Inspired by: "Let Go" By RED**

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT own anything from the movie Death Sentence. The only person I own is Bella.**

**Author Note: Ok So Here it goes. Chapter 2. I was going to wait to see if I'd get more reviews but I figured I'll just put another one out anyways.**

**Thanks to Zili and Kaye for reviewing. Also Bella is 21 years old in this story.**

**Chapter 2:**

I heard the mustang pull up outside as I looked at the clock. 1:02 a.m. I got re-comfy in my spot and tried to fall back asleep. The front door eventually opened and closed followed by relocking of the door. Footsteps could be heard around the rooms and led into our room. The bed went down a bit when Billy sat. He kicked off his boots after untying them and pulled off his shirt. I sat up and he looked behind him as I moved. "Go back to sleep." He said and I moved closer to him. I slid my hands up from his back to his shoulders. I massaged his shoulders, watching him relax and calm down. "Who pissed you off this time?" I asked jokingly and laughed a bit. I smiled as I saw Billy's serious face go into a grin. "Doesn't matter, they're taken care of." He responded and I leaned against his back with my head on his shoulder. He held onto my hands and kissed my knuckles. "Do you ever feel guilty?" I asked. I didn't even have to add to that sentence. He knew what I meant. "No." He said moving my arms from around him and stood up. I got back into my spot and back into my comfort zone. I looked out our bedroom doorway and saw him turn all the lights off. I let my eyes close and felt the bed move down once more.

Billy moved over next to me and wrapped his arm around my waist as he put his chest to my back. "Are you alright?" He asked me softly as he moved some of my blonde hair away from my face. "Yeah." I nodded not looking at him. "I worry about you sometimes." He whispered. "Only sometimes?" I smiled as I turned my head to look at him. He smirked at my fake hurt tone. I turned in his arms facing him. "I'm ok. Really." I said and moved closer to his warm body. "Night Bella." He said. "Night Darley." I responded.

I sat up quickly as a bang came at our front door. Billy was already up grabbing the pistol he had in a drawer of the nightstand. "Stay here." He said and I nodded. "Who is it?" I heard Billy demand. I couldn't hear the response from the opposite side of the door. I went to the doorway of our bedroom as I heard Billy unlocking the door. He opened the door and I saw Joe as he came in. "Thanks." Joey said and hugged his brother. He looked around and then towards me giving me a smirk and a look. "Hope I didn't interrupt anything…" Joe said and received a smack on the back of the head. "Go." Billy said as he pointed in the direction of the spare room. "I'm going…" He said after a soft laugh. He gave me one last smile before disappearing into the spare room. "What'd he do now?" I asked as Billy locked back up. "I didn't ask." He said and walked passed me. I got back into bed and tried to get any sleep I possibly could.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual. I guess it was just one of those nights where I could barely sleep. I looked at the clock and saw it was only seven in the morning. I groaned and got up as I knew I'd have no chance of getting any more sleep. _Coffee, I need coffee._ Was all I could think. I went into the kitchen and grabbed everything I needed to make the coffee. "Morning." I heard Joe say. "Hey Joe." I smiled as I gave him a hug. "How have you been?" He asked. "I'm alright, what about you?" I asked in return. Joe slipped his leather jacket on as he smiled. "Good, really good actually." He responded and headed towards the front door. "Because of the gang?" I asked as he touched the door knob. He turned and looked at me. "I'm surprised Billy told you." He answered. "He didn't, I figured it out." I replied. Joe licked his dry lips and smirked. "Later Bella." He said as he shut the door behind him.

I rolled my eyes and went back into the kitchen. Joe was just as bad as Billy when it came to hiding stuff from me. He was only a year or two older than me, so he couldn't call me young. I wanted to strangle Joe sometimes when he got into a cocky/superior mood. I guess Billy kept him in line. Half the time I wondered how I've survived this long. Although no guy messes with me because they know Billy would kill them, literally. I poured my coffee into my cup and took a sip. I heard the TV turn on and the news reporter talking. "No current suspects in the murder but police suspect that it was just a drug dealing that went wrong." The reporter said and Billy laughed a bit. "Did you do that?" I asked sitting beside him on the couch. He put his arm around my shoulders. "I made coffee if you want some." I said keeping my eyes on the news. He nodded and changed the channel.

"Joe left about 10 minutes ago." I said. "He say where?" He asked. "No, probably to bones." I answered. Billy stood up and went to our room. "Why does everyone think I'm so less informed?" I asked. "What do you mean?" Billy asked as I saw him pull on a clean shirt. "About all this gang shit. You all act like I'm some five year old who doesn't know anything." I said and Billy sighed as he put the pistol behind him making sure it was secure. "You think you know so much about this?" He asked firmly. "Then get dressed." He said. "You have 10 minutes, hurry up." Billy called from the living room. I quickly got dressed, did everything I had to do, and grabbed my jacket Billy bought for me.

The ride was silent, only the sounds of the car and the wind coming into the car from the windows. Billy's cell started to ring and he answered it. "I'm on my way." He answered. "Yeah, also Bella is coming." He said. I looked at him. There was the pause I expected. Billy looked at me as he listened to the person on the line. "She'll be fine." He replied and hung up. We arrived at a beat up bridge. It looked like no one used it for awhile. Once they built new roads, only certain people used the streets. Usually just for drug dealing is my guess. Billy turned off the car. He started to look through something as I looked at the guys already here. The identical mustang was parked on the opposite side of the street. "Here. I'm not saying you're going to but just in case." He said putting the knife in my hand. I looked at the knife and knew that what laid in my hand had taken many lives. He opened his door and walked towards the other men. I hid the knife in my belt loops which were covered by my jacket.

I left the car and stayed a few steps away from the deal being made. I leaned against the bridge wall covered with graffiti. Billy opened his bag and took out the drug pills and also looked like some needles. So not only did these guys like to pop pills, but they were needle freaks… Lovely. The guy pulled out the money and showed it to him. I watched as Billy talked with Bodie and a few others. "Bella go get in the car." Billy said. I watched as they all turned to look at me. I headed towards the car until I felt someone grab me by my arm. They stood behind me, holding me in place with his arm around my neck as they placed a gun to my temple. My heart beat quickened as I knew now why Billy didn't want me involved. "Give him the drugs or I'll kill her." The guy holding me shouted as Billy, Bodie, Heco, and Spink pointed their guns between the guy holding me and the others. At that point I think I was the only one without a weapon out. Billy continued to just point his gun at the guy holding me and swearing at him instead of going through with the deal or doing what he said. But of course, he is Billy Darley, he listens to no one.

That's when I remembered the knife. I slid my hand slowly to the knife and waited. "Now!" The guy holding me yelled. I pulled it out quick and pushed it behind me into him. He dropped behind me with a thud. His friends stared at his now still body with wide eyes. I quickly looked at Billy and saw him grab his bag filled with money and ran towards me. Gunfire could be heard loudly from probably six different people. Some of ours, some of theirs. I got into the car and ducked as Billy quickly started the car and sped off, the identical mustang following us in pursuit…


	3. Why you try to control me?

**It's More Than I Can Take**

**A Death Sentence Fan Fiction**

**Inspired by: "Let Go" By RED**

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT own anything from the movie Death Sentence. The only person I own is Bella.**

**Author Note: Thanks to Zili, lovebuggy, lightning8star, lauraxxx, and Kaye for Reviewing.**

**Chapter 3:**

I stayed ducked in the car, looking at Billy with wide eyes. "Satisfied?" He asked. "You're a real dick you know that? I'm fine thanks babe." I said coldly. "Still know so much right?" He asked sarcastically. "I apparently do. I know I don't have to depend on people for my life." I said. "I'm proud of you." He said genuinely. "I learned from the best I guess." I said and he smirked at me.

We stopped in front of Bone's business garage he has. I stepped out of the car and leaned against it. "I'll be right out." Billy said as he pulled the bag onto his shoulder. "O.K." I said as he put his hand on my face. I looked into his blue eyes and could see that he cared for me. I know he does. Sometimes he just likes to pose as a non-caring bad ass. Romantic huh? He kissed me then pecked my lips once. "Five minutes." He said and walked into the garage. That was one place he never let me in. I guess it didn't matter. I didn't really want to. Bones wasn't a nice guy from what I've heard. I was never really great with meeting fathers anyways. "You alright?" I heard Bodie say as he headed towards me. "I'm fine." I replied coolly. Surprisingly, I was fine. I wasn't shaking or trembling so I took it as a good sign.

Billy came towards us with a pissed off expression. "Get in the car." He said as he walked to the driver side. I got in like he said without questions. He never came out of his dad's garage in a good mood. I never wanted to push it farther. "We're going to our bar, Joe should be there now." Billy finally spoke and I nodded. "Hey drop me off at Kasey's." I said and he looked at me. "It's on the way, about 5 to 20 minutes passed the bar, you know that." I said and he sighed. "Alright." He replied. We turned into the bar and he parked. Bodie came to his window after he parked the mustang. "I', dropping Bella off at Kasey's. I'll be back in 10 minutes." He told him. Bodie nodded and headed inside. Billy backed up and pulled back into the street. "You working tonight?" Billy asked when we stopped in front of Kasey's apartment. "As far as I know." I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt. "Alright. I'll pick you up later." He said and I nodded as I opened my door. "Hey…" He said as he grabbed my hand. "No kiss goodbye?" He smirked. "I rolled my eyes and smiled as I turned back to him. He kissed me holding me there in place.

"Want to keep her clothes on there Darley, because I'd rather not see my best friend like that." I heard Kasey as she put trash in the trash can. "You don't have to watch." Billy said and she laughed. That was the good thing about Kasey, she joked a lot and gets along with my boyfriend. "That's what your apartment is for. I'm pretty sure my neighbors don't want their eight year old daughter to see that… uh action." She said and smiled. "Screw the neighbors." Billy said and I laughed. "I'll see you later." I pecked his lips quickly and left the car. We watched Billy drive off and went inside. "So how's it going Kasey?" I asked as she passed me a Faygo. "Not bad. You?" She asked. "Almost got killed today, but other than that I guess I can't complain." I replied. "Whoa…Sounds exciting." She smiled as I punched her jokingly on the arm.

"Wheres Kathy?" I asked. "Up in her room." She said pointing towards the stairs. "I'm going to go say hey real quick." I said heading towards the stairs. "I'll be in the living room." She called as I headed up the stairs. I walked to Kathy's room and knocked on her door. Soft music could be heard inside. The door opened and Kathy smiled. "Hey Bella." She greeted happily as she stepped aside to let me in. I walked around the room looking at all the pictures of her and Kasey together. Kathy and Kasey have always been close, but ever since their parents died a year ago they've been closer. Kathy is only 17 so she is considered a minor, but since Kasey is 22 she can legally be her guardian. They've lived together ever since.

"So what's the plans for tonight?" I asked putting a picture down. "Brendan is taking me out." She replied with a huge grin. "You're getting serious about that Hume guy huh?" I asked her smiling when I turned to her. She nodded when she picked up a picture of them together. I walked to her side and looked at the picture. "It was after one of his hockey games." She never stopped smiling. They looked so happy together. "Its going to suck when he goes to college." She said putting the picture down. "Well, you're a junior at least. You'll be in college with him soon enough." I said and she smiled more. "I guess I better go back to Kasey before she thinks I ran off. Bye Kathy." I said. "See you later Bella." Kathy called and I shut the door. O headed down the stairs and into the living room. "Hey." I said sitting beside Kasey. "Hey. She getting ready for her date I'm guessing?" Kasey said and I laughed a bit as I nodded. "I'm happy for her." I said. "Me too. Its better than her dating a hood. No offense." She said. "Non-taken." I said and from there it was silent.

A couple hours had passed and the doorbell rang. Kasey answered it as Kathy rushed down the stairs. I got up from the couch and headed to the front door. "I want her home after the date alright?" Kasey said and he smiled and nodded. "No problem." He said. "You mean I can't go to the hockey game?" She asked and pouted. "I want you home tonight ok?" Kasey said sternly yet nicely. "Fine." Kathy said sighing as she gave in. "Its alright babe, we'll still have fun." He said and she smiled. He took her hand and they left together. "He seems nice." I said as Kasey shut the door. "He is." She smiled and looked at the clock. She looked out the window as I grabbed my jacket. "So why aren't you letting her go to the game?" I asked. "Hes why…" I heard her say. IU went to the window with her as I pulled my jacket on. Billy pulled up, along with the other mustang, and honked the horn. "Billy?" I asked confused.

The horn honked again and Kasey sighed. "You should go. You know how Billy gets." She said and I nodded. "Bye Kasey." I said as I went out the front door. I got to Billy's car and saw Joe in the passenger seat. I eyed Billy but he didn't say anything. Joe got out of the car and pulled the seat up to let me in. I looked at Joe and saw him staring at her apartment window. Kasey stood at the window staring at him until she disappeared behind the curtains. He looked at me as I looked at him. "Come on. Get in." He said and I gave him a look. "Come on. Let's go!" He said getting impatient and gave me a push. I got inside and saw my workbag on the floor by my feet. I started piecing everything together. My workbag packed instead of going home first, Joe in the car along with some others, the other mustang trialing us. Also the way Kasey looked at Joe. Tonight was Joe's initiation. Kasey was afraid Brendan and Kathy would be on the road and become victims to this, which is why she wouldn't let Kathy go to the game. We arrived at the diner I work at and Joe got out to let me out.

I grabbed the bag and started getting out of the car. Billy grabbed my arm and I looked at him. "I'll pick you up later tonight." He said. "Will you?" I asked coldly. He saw the look on my face and knew that I knew everything. I got out of the car and looked at Joe with slight disappointment. "Good luck Joe." I said. "You're going to need it." I mumbled and walked into the diner. I guess some things never change…


	4. What do you want from me?

**It's More Than I Can Take**

**A Death Sentence Fan Fiction**

**Inspired by: "Let Go" By RED**

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT own anything from the movie Death Sentence. The only person I own is Bella.**

**Author Note: Thanks to Zili, Kaye, lightning8star, StarStellar, and PetiteDiable for Reviewing. **

**Chapter 4:**

I was closing tonight which completely sucked. "Bye Bella." One of the workers called. Now I was alone. I wasn't entirely happy about that. I started cleaning and wiping down all the tables. The bell rung from above the door meaning someone came in. "We're closed." I said as I continued to wipe down the table. I always had at least two people do that. I heard a chair from a table pull out and someone sit down. "I said were…" I stopped when I saw Billy. "You always get this feisty with customers?" Billy asked and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah when Jackasses like you come in here." I answered going behind the counter. Billy sat at the counter as I put a glass in front of him. "I love you too." He said and I looked at him. I filled his cup with water and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Wheres Joe?" I asked as I finished cleaning up the counter. "Took the subway." He smirked. "Hes in the gang now?" I asked. I looked up at Billy. "Hurry up, Lets get home." He said. I finished up and followed him out the door. "If anything happened to Joe, I'll kill you." I said as I shut the car door. "Oh really?" He asked amused. "Really." I said and he laughed a bit. "I don't think you'd have the guts." He said and then it was my turn to laugh. "I've already killed one person! What's another?!" I asked sarcastically. "You didn't love him." He said. "That's why you killed him." Billy added and I looked out the window. We arrived at the apartment and I rushed inside. "Why do you always try to keep getting in our business? Why don't you worry about yourself and you lifestyle?" He said harsher than meant to. "Why do you keep me here? Why?!" I felt my eyes tear up. "Do you truly love me? Or am I just some person to fuck, give you extra money, and clean up your messes?!" I yelled and let a tear fall. Billy looked down and didn't say anything. "Do you even know?" I asked softly. Billy looked at me and stayed silent. "Right." I said and went into the bathroom.

I locked the door and turned the warm shower water on. I stripped down and stepped into the shower. I let the water run over my body and through my hair as I let today's events sink in. When I finished, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I walked to our bedroom and started pulling out clean clothes. My ring tone went off as someone was trying to call me. I rushed to my phone and saw the caller ID say "Kasey". "Hello?" I answered. She was breathing heavily and crying could be heard in the background. "Bella?!" I heard Kasey say. It sounded as if she'd been crying too. "Are you ok?" I asked. "Brendan is dead… please, could you please meet Kathy and me here? I need as much support as I can get." She sniffled as she finished.

My heart sank to the floor. "How…" Was all I could say. "His father called us. It was after the game. He was filling the tank and Brendan was inside to get a drink… Hold on." She said and I could hear her moving. "Bella, I think its exactly what I feared." She said softly. "What do you mean?" I asked as I sat on the bed. "I think it was for Joe's initiation." She whispered. I looked at Billy in the kitchen from where I sat. "His father thought it was a robbing. I think they were just at the wrong place at the wrong time." She said softly still. "But…It could have been…" "They caught a guy who is suspected." She cut me off. "Bella, they have Joe." She whispered. I was speechless. I got up quick and locked the door. "So then it was his initiation." I spoke softly. "Please don't tell Kathy about Joe." She begged. "I won't. I promise." I said. "I'll be there shortly." I said and I heard her sigh in relief. "Thank you so much." I heard her say. We said our goodbyes and I quickly changed.

I went out into the living room and grabbed my jacket. I went into the kitchen and saw Billy. "I need your car." I said and Billy laughed. "I'm serious!" I said getting irritated. "Alright, calm down." He said as he laughed a bit. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and held them in his hand. He snaked his other hand around the back of my neck and pulled me into his chest. "I do love you…" He said as I locked eyes with him. "It doesn't feel like it sometimes." I said. He put the keys on the counter and put his hands on my hips. He leaned forward putting his lips an inch away from mine. I could taste the Jack Daniels on his breath. "I'm sorry." He said. "How many times can I believe that?" I whispered. Billy kissed along my fading bruise and down to my neck. Once again I gave into him. My arms snaked around his neck as I pulled his lips to mine.

It felt like he loved me by how he kissed, acted, and looked at me at home. It felt like he loved me when he protected me outside. I just had to hope it was true. "I have to go." I said as I felt Billy's warm hand touch the skin of my back under my shirt. "Don't." He said and kissed me again. I grabbed the keys as I kissed him and then pulled away from him. He caught me by my arm and I looked at him. "Where are you going?" He asked. "Do I ever ask where you're going?" I said and he gave me a look. "I have my cell." I said. I got out of his grasp and headed out to the car. I drove to the hospital as quick as I could. When I got there, I quickly headed towards the desk. Before I could get a word out, I heard Kathy. "Bella!" She cried and flew into my arms. I hugged her tight and looked up at Kasey. She looked at me with sorrow filled eyes. Even if it wasn't our fault. I think she felt just as guilty as me.

Kasey took Kathy to sit by the Hume family again. I walked over but stayed silent. Mr. Hume looked at me and I gave a sad smile. He returned it as he held his wife in his arms. I stayed with Kasey and Kathy at their house for as long as they needed me. Kathy passed out on the couch finally at 1:30 and Kasey sighed in relief. "Thanks so much Bella." Kasey whispered as she walked me to the door. "No problem." I said as she stepped out with me and shut the door. "I feel so guilty." I said. "Me too." She said looking down. "I guess I better get going." I said and she nodded. "I'll see you later." She said and I hugged her. "Take care of her for me." I said and we both smiled. "Beat up Billy for me." She said. "Will do." I smile and she laughed as she headed inside.

I drove home and parked the car. I headed to our apartment and opened the door. The whole house was dark and silent except for sounds of the TV. "Billy?" I called. "In the bedroom." He called. I locked up the door and went into our room. He continued to flip through the channels as I walked in. I pulled out a wifebeater and showers as I pulled off my shirt. I threw it in the hamper and caught Billy staring at me. "Whats wrong Billy? Never seen a woman before?" I teased as I pulled the wifebeater over my half naked body. "I've seen you plenty of times unless you're not really a woman." He said as I changed into my shorts. "How'd the initiation go?" I asked. "Hes in…" Billy said as his eyes went back onto the TV. As I cuddled up to Billy, I prayed that what Kasey though wasn't true. Maybe it was just a robbing. Maybe Joe would come knocking at out front door anytime now asking for a place to sleep off his gallons of booze he drank. I sighed and closed my eyes.

Billy turned off the TV and turned his back to me as he got comfy. I moved up to Billy and rested on my elbows as I half sat up. "What happened tonight…?" I started to question. "Bella." He growled in warning. I knew he hated when I tried to get into the business of the gang. He didn't want me in there any more than I already was. "What happens at the initiations?" I continued to ask questions. Billy turned and sat up. "You want to know so damn bad?" He asked angrily. I didn't want to when he was in this mood. He'd probably detail everything, but this was my only chance to find out. I nodded. Billy growled in frustration. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." He said and I swallowed roughly. "We drove around at night with our lights off waiting for someone to flick their lights at us. When this guy did, we followed them to this gas station. While a guy has his back turned filling his gas tank, we ran inside. After yelling at the cashier and he wouldn't listen I shot his fucking brains out. I gave Joe a machete and he slit the little prick's throat. He was probably the guy's son." He said with venom in his voice. "Slow, violent, painful death." He spoke each word slowly and dreadfully.

I closed my eyes and looked away from Billy as tears came to my eyes. I knew it was Brendan Hume they killed. Now I wish I never asked…


	5. You Scared me With all That you tell me

**It's More Than I Can Take**

**A Death Sentence Fan Fiction**

**Inspired by: "Let Go" By RED**

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT own anything from the movie Death Sentence. The only person I own is Bella.**

**Author Note: Thanks to StarStellar, lightning8star, Kaye, and PetiteDiable for Reviewing. I missed the bus and I've been completely bored ever since. So I've been doing this piece by piece. Sorry this chapter isn't as long as the others. I'm suppose to be doing work around the house and my mom is going to be home in a couple hours.**

**Chapter 5:**

I tossed and turned as nightmares filled my mind. Images of Brendan and the whole gang. I shot up quickly just as his throat was about to get cut. I looked at Billy as I took in a deep breath. I got out of bed and went straight into the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water gulping it down quickly. My thoughts went to Kathy. I worried so much about her. "Fuck!" I mumbled angrily and punched the wall. I leaned my forehead against it and closed my eyes. I didn't know how to fix this mess. I put my glass in the sink and sank slowly to the floor, my back leaning against the counter. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

I heard footsteps lead to me and then sat down beside me. I felt Billy's arms go around me and I fell into his chest crying. Crying for Kathy and Kasey, crying for Joe, crying for the Hume family… For Brendan… "I try to protect you and you just push through the barriers I make asking more questions." His words were soft and sweet. Not venomous like before. "So what am I suppose to do, live my life in question?!" I asked. "No, but you like to stick your nose in every gruesome detail." Billy said. I knew he was right, but I couldn't help but ask when he kept me so much in the dark. I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I'm scared for Joe." I said. I couldn't help but feel bad for the basturd. Even if he killed Brendan, Joe looked after me a lot when Billy didn't. Actually, I probably would have been with Joe if he never introduced me to Billy. I guess I always still had a little thing for him.

Billy looked at the clock. "Lets go back to bed, its only 4 am" He said and I shook my head no. "No, I can't. I…" I stopped as I looked at the floor. "Babe, you need to sleep." He said. I got up with him and put my hand in his. We got back into bed and Billy fell asleep as soon as his arm draped over me. How could he sleep after watching someone die? I didn't even see it and I couldn't sleep. I watched as each minute of every hour passed. It was now 9:26 a.m. Billy was still out cold. The house phone started to ring and I groaned. I moved Billy's arm and got the cordless phone. "Hello?" I answered. "Bella?" The voice asked. "Joe?! Where are you?!" I asked quickly. "In jail, please don't ask questions. I need to talk to Billy, its important." He replied. "Ok hold on." I said.

I walked back into the room and knew it wouldn't be easy waking him. "Billy…" I said as I shook him. "Come on Bells. I'm limited on time." He said. I took a sharp breath in as he said "Bells". He hasn't called me by that nickname in years. 4 years to be exact. I punched Billy hard on the shoulder and he jolted. "Son of a… What?!" He snapped when he looked at me. "Its Joe." I said giving him the phone. "Hello?" I heard Billy say as I went back into the living room. He came out about five minutes later. "Here, its Kasey. She beeped in." He said and I quickly took the phone. "Kasey? Is everything ok?!" I asked. "Yeah, I'm just calling to tell you Brendan's funeral is tomorrow if you can come…" She said softly. "I'll make sure I'm there." I said. "Ok, Thanks." She said. "How are you and Kathy?" I asked. "I'm ok, but you know how Kathy is." She said. "Yeah." I sighed. "I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow. I'll pick you up around 10 a.m.ish." She said. "Ok Bye." We hung up and I put the phone back on the charger.

Tomorrow came quicker than I wanted it to. I stood in front of the mirror looking myself over. I guess I've been to enough funerals to know what to wear. I buzzed Kasey and Kathy up when they rang. I answered the door and gave them both a hug. "Wheres Billy and Joe?" Kathy asked. "Oh they went out." I said and she nodded. Kasey gave me a "Thank you" smile. "Ready?" Kasey asked and I nodded. We got into her car and drove to the funeral. Rain was pouring down heavily. "I have a few umbrella's in the backseat." Kasey said. "Got them." Kathy said holding them up.

We got out of the car and I opened my umbrella. Kasey and Kathy shared the other. We walked over to the Hume family and gave silent apologies as the preacher talked. Kathy began to cry more as the coffin began to lower. Kathy went closer and put a rose on top of it, just as others had before. The coffin was completely lowered to the bottom when people started leaving. "Come on." Kasey whispered to Kathy. She put an arm around her and started walking to the car. "Are you coming Bella?" Kathy asked when she stopped and turned to look at me. "I'll be there in a second." I said. Kasey and Kathy walked to the car and I looked at the Hume family. "I'll be there in a few minutes." I heard Mr. Hume say to his wife. She gave me a sad smile as she guided her son to the car.

I looked at the grave and the guilt began to surface again. "I'm sorry Mr. Hume." I said and he stayed silent. I knew it was just one of those silent nod responses he gave me. I stared at the grave and thought about the gang. One day they would all end up here and it could be one day soon. Did they think they were dying honorably? I didn't think so. Then I thought about Joe. This gang would drive him into a hole like this. I know I may say this to Billy all the time, but at least Billy can hold himself up. I wasn't too sure about Joe… I was dreading tomorrow like I did this day yesterday. Joe's trial. I had no pity for him, but I just prayed Joe wasn't the next one in a coffin with my rose falling and landing on top of it…


	6. You always want to take me down with you

**It's More Than I Can Take**

**A Death Sentence Fan Fiction**

**Inspired by: "Let Go" By RED**

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT own anything from the movie Death Sentence. The only person I own is Bella.**

**Author Note: Thanks to Kaye, lightning8star, PetiteDiable, and lovebuggy for Reviewing. Sorry I haven't updated real fast. I'll hopefully be posting quicker now like I was before. Sorry once again.**

**Chapter 6:**

I rode the bus to the jail Joe was being held in. I figured I might as well talk to him before his trial. The rain continued to drive its way into the ground. The officer brought me to one of the rooms and sat me at the table. Five minutes later the door opened again. Joe was in cuffs from his hands to his feet. "15 minutes." The guard said as he settled Joe and left the room.

Joe intertwined his fingers as he rested them on the table and puckered his lips to the side. "Are you happy?" I asked and he laughed. "Is this what you wanted?!" I questioned again. "Why can't you ever leave anything alone?" Joe asked. "Because that's how I am. You should know me well enough by now. We've been friends since junior year." I said and he smirked. "I know Bells." He said using my nickname again. "What happened to you?" I asked softly. "I've changed. I'm better than I was before." He answered. "Oh you are?" You consider this better than before?" I said pointing out his surroundings. "You wouldn't understand." He said and I laughed a bit. "Sure, because I don't understand anything right?" I said and we were both silent. "What happened to us Joe?" I asked. He looked at me and laughed silently as he shook his head slowly form side to side. "You fucked my brother and have been sharing his bed ever since. I loved you Bells, but you never gave a fuck about me." He said. "That's not true!" I shouted. "Oh it's not?! Who are you with Bella! Huh? Whose side do you stay by? Who are you living with Bells?" He kept asking. "Who Bella?!" He raised his voice and slammed his fist on the table causing me to jump.

I couldn't look him in the eye. I didn't know what to say. "See… You know 'm right. Why'd you even come here?" He asked slightly with venom. "I wanted to see you, just talk." I answered. "Bullshit. I don't need your pity Bella." He said angrily. "You didn't give a shit about me when you went behind my back with my brother. Why start caring now?" The poison stung my heart. "I never went behind you back Joe. There never was an _us_." I said. "Yeah cause you didn't want it to happen." He spat. "Times up." The guard said as he entered the room. Joe stood up and followed the guard. "Later Bells." He said and walked out of sight. Today was just one disaster after another.

I took the bus back home and collapsed on my bed. I guess I figured I couldn't get into anymore conflict or trouble if I just laid here. My eyes felt heavy as the rain patted on the window. "Do it!" A voice said as I drifted to dreams. "Do it or you're not one of us." I saw Billy as he grabbed Joe and Joe had a bit of fear in his eyes. I could tell it was them, even with masks. But something wasn't right. I was the one backed into the corner. I felt my hands starting to shake. It was one of those dreams that felt real. "No." I spoke but the words were inaudible. Joe pulled out the machete and swallowed as he stared at me. This wasn't right. I looked around and saw it was a gas station. My eyes widened as I looked back at Joe.

My eyes opened quickly and I looked around. Constant nightmares decided to torture me. The sky was darkening. The front door opened and closed. I heard keys hit the counter and his leather jacket hit the couch. I got up and stood in the doorway. "Long day?" I asked as he came back into view with a beer. "Not really." He said and took a sip of his beer. "Can you get me a cigarette and a lighter please?" He asked and I nodded. I went back into our room and grabbed his cigarettes and lighter from the nightstand. I went into the living room and gave them to him. "Thanks." He said as he put on to his lips. I sat down on the recliner next to him.

"Joe told me you went to see him today." Billy said and I quickly looked up at him. "What did he say?" I asked curiously. "Not much, boy was he mad talking about you though." He said taking a drag of his cigarette. I took his beer off the table and took a gulp of it. "He still loves you, you know that." He said and I took another sip. "Well… I don't love him." I said as I passed him his beer. Billy grinned at me and took a sip form the beer. "Alright I do, but not in the way I love you." I said and Billy nodded. "Fair enough." He said and I leaned back in my chair. The phone rang and I got up to answer it. "Hello?" I answered. "Bella! Shes gone!" Kasey cried into the phone. "What? Wait slow down." I said. "Kathy, she ran off. She found out about Joe. Newspaper or news probably. She left before I cam back from work. She left a note and took her clothes and some things." Kasey said trying to calm down. "Ok, I want you to calm down and relax. Don't call the police yet. I want you to stay there and I'll go find her ok?" I said. "Ok, please find her." She answered and we both hung up.

"Kathy run away again?" Billy asked. "Yeah, I'm going to get her. I need your keys." I said. "I'm going too." He said and pulled his jacket back on. "Billy that's a really bad idea." I said. "And I care?" He asked rhetorically and grabbed his keys. "Lets go." He said and I followed him without another option. Billy drove to the same spot Kathy always ran to. It was this little place in the woods with a tree house by a river type thing. She would bite my head off once she saw Billy. First off, Its our secret hide out. Second, I told. Third, she really is going to hate Billy right now.

"Right here." I said and Billy stopped the car. He followed me to the directions of our hangout. "Kathy?!" I called as I looked around. Billy picked up her bag from behind the tree. "Kathy?!" I called again. "Go away!" Kathy called. I looked up at the tree house and saw Kathy peeking through the doorway. "Please come down here Kathy." I begged. "No!" She called back angrily. "Kasey is worrying sick about you!" I said. "I can't go back Bella." She said. "I don't have time for this." Billy growled in a low voice. Kathy's eyes widened as she heard his voice and he stepped into view. "How could you?!" She yelled. I could hear both anger and hurt in her voice. "I'm sorry, but please come down." I begged. "No! Especially not with him around!" She spat angrily. "Get down here now or I'll go up there and get you myself!" Billy sounded like a parent scolding a child. His voice boomed with fierceness and impatient-ness. The kind of voice that makes you tear up a bit when your dad yells.

That's exactly what she did. She slowly climbed down. When she reached the bottom she looked at me with tear filled eyes. "You're just as bad as Billy and Joe. He killed Brendan, yet still you stand by the one who told him to do it." She stood close to me as she stared angrily at me. "I hate you." She spat low and harsh. She walked away from me, grabbing her bad away from Billy as she followed the path to the car. "Come on." Billy said softly and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Kathy wouldn't even look at me. I didn't even try to talk to her, I knew she wouldn't respond. We got to her apartment and Kasey rushed out. Kathy hugged her quickly and I got out of the car. "Thanks." Kasey said and hugged me. Their apartment door slammed shut and Kasey and I quickly looked. "She hates me…" I said and frowned. "Shes just mad right now." Kasey said.

I knew she was just trying to make me feel better, but it didn't help. "Look, Bella, I didn't want it to come to this, but maybe it'd be better if you didn't hand around here for awhile." Kasey said and I looked down at the sidewalk. "I understand." I said. "I'm really sorry." She said and hugged me. I got back into Billy's car and stayed silent the whole ride home. Choosing to be with Billy has changed my entire life. I didn't believe for the better anymore. I lost my parents because they disowned me for "being part of his little gang", my brother doesn't even talk to me anymore, Joe hates me now, Kathy hates me for being with Billy and he told Joe to kill Brendan, and now I'm losing my best friend Kasey. All I had left was Billy and his gang. I knew that if I didn't get out of this lifestyle soon, One Day… I'd be Alone…


	7. Haunting me I can't Escape

It's More Than I Can Take

**It's More Than I Can Take**

**A Death Sentence Fan Fiction**

**Inspired by: "Let Go" By RED**

**and other songs by RED**

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT own anything from the movie Death Sentence. The only person I own is Bella.**

**Author Note: Thanks to Kaye Murphy, Hot4Garrett, PetiteDiable, Mignun, StarrStellar and Nikki (anon.) for Reviewing. Sorry again. My dad reformatted his computer so I lost Microsoft word. But I finally got it back so I should hopefully be able to update more. My school had a blackout and we were all sent home so I finally got to update! Hope you all like it and sorry once again. **

**Chapter 7:**

Billy was asleep in our room. Multiple things repeated like a broken record player as I laid on the couch wide awake. The low hum from the TV could be heard in the background. I didn't want to lose my family anymore. I was sick of losing who I loved for one man. As much as I lived Billy, I couldn't continue on like this. I tiptoed quietly into our room and pulled out my backpack. I continued to pack clothes and whatever else of mine I needed without making my bag too heavy. I looked at Billy and saw him still out cold. I stepped soundlessly to his nightstand and opened the bottom drawer. I kept looking at Billy to make sure he wouldn't wake up. Slowly I opened the secret bottom compartment and looked at the cash. I took a few wads of bills and put them in my pocket. I looked at Billy one last time before picking up my bag and leaving.

I left my cell phone on the counter. I figured I could always buy a new one. I was really good with numbers so I didn't need any out of my phone. I waited at the bus stop impatiently. I continued to look at the road and my watch, watching every minute pass. The bus finally came around the corner and stopped in front of me. I got on and put my change into the machine. I sat in the way back of the bus and slowly people looked away from me. My eyes felt heavy and I slowly let them shut.

"Ms…"I heard faintly. "Ms…Ms…" The man repeated as he shook me gently. I opened my eyes slowly and looked towards the man. "Ms., This is the final stop. I didn't realize you were still on. I can drive you to where you'd like or need to be." The bus driver said friendly. "How far can you take me?" He started giving me places around town. "No…No. If I paid you money. Could you drive me away from here?" I asked. "Exactly how far from here did you want to go?" He asked. "New York?" I asked. He whistled a low whistle. "That's pretty far from here." He answered. "I know, but please I have money. I need to get away from here and my parents are in New York." I responded. "How do I know you aren't lying about the money?" He asked. I didn't blame him for questioning about the money. I would to at that distance. I pulled out a wad of cash out of my pocket and his eyes widened. "I'll make a deal with you. You buy gas and food for us and I'll get you to New York." The driver smiled. "Deal." I said and shook his hand. I moved to the front seat of the bus and let myself drift to sleep.

I woke as I slammed to the ground. "What the…" My bag was thrown at me before I could finish. The bus sped up and out of sight. I groaned as I slowly stood up. MY hand went to my now empty pocket. "Mother Fucker!" I yelled. I was now stranded out in a place I didn't know, without any cash. The sun was starting to go down, I realized Joe's trial was today. Billy would probably kill me, but I guess I needed to go home somehow or maybe Kasey could get me. But how can I go home when I don't know where I am? I started walking around hoping I'd find something I recognized. I found a little diner and headed inside. They had one of those maps with the "You are here"; Only god knows why. I was about twenty minutes walking distance from my brother's house. I figured it was my only shot.

I walked the distance and rang his doorbell. The door opened and his eyes widened. He started to shut the door, but I tried desperately to hold it open. "Wait please! Jake I beg you!" I said sadly. He sighed and opened the door. "What are you doing here bells?" He asked. "I need your help. I know I've made a lot of mistakes and I've ruined any closeness we've ever had but please…" I begged. He paused for a moment thinking before he sighed and let me in. "Just put your stuff on the couch. I'll make you something while you go take a shower. I nodded and headed upstairs after he went into the kitchen. I took a good long shower. It felt good to be able to relax. When I finished I stepped out of the shower and headed downstairs. Food was on the table and Jake was sitting on the opposite side with his head bowed down and his hangs together.

I quietly sat down and at my food. "Three years…" My brother said quietly. I looked up at him slowly. "Three long years…" He spoke again. I looked in his hands and noticed he was holding a necklace. "Three years since my fiancé risked her life for you when you were in trouble. Three years since she died and three years since I banned you from my life. Why did you come back to me now?" He asked. He looked at me and I could tell tears wanted to fall. I looked down at my food and the table. I couldn't speak. I was filled with guilt. There was a knock on the door and Jake answered it. I heard soft voices and then the front door closed. Two pairs of footsteps headed towards me. "Bells lets go." My head snapped up to the stern voice. "Joe?!" My eyes were wide. I looked at Jake and he didn't say a word. "Jake…" I asked softly. "Just go… please." He said. I nodded as I bit my lip and followed Joe. Jake opened the front door. "I'm really sorry Jake…" I whispered softly to him and a tear slipped from his eye. Joe grabbed my backpack and took me by my upper arm. Oh yeah… He was pissed. I got into the car without question. The ride was silent. "Does Billy know I'm coming back?" I asked. "No, He knows you left, hes furious by the way, and he'll know soon." After Joe said that and got on the phone, I stayed completely silent the whole ride home.

Walking up those apartment steps was one of the scariest things I had to do. I was alone and Billy was furious. I reached our door and closed my eyes taking a few deep breaths. I opened the door and shut it quietly behind me as I stepped in. I saw Billy in the living room sitting on the couch. He was quietly smoking a cigarette and had a beer to his right. I took a few steps forward. He looked at me and a shiver went down my spine. He didn't speak, just grinned in a mean manner and laughed. I was terrified. He put his cigarette out and stood up. In an instant he sent the beer bottle crashing to the floor. There were no smiles, no laughing; just anger. Billy stood in front of me, I closed my eyes tight and felt tears slip. I felt the back of his hand stroke my neck. "Wheres my money?" He whispered softly. "Someone stole it from me…" I spoke uneasy and scared. I heard him lick his lips and my breathing quickened. He gripped my neck as he slammed me into the wall. "Do something like that again and I'll find you myself. You wouldn't want that would you?" Billy whispered harshly into my ear. I shook my head no with whatever room I had in his grip. "No, you don't. So are we clear?" He whispered just as harsh. I nodded as tears continued to fall down my face. He let me go and I sank to the floor.

He came back into view with the bag he always carries when he is going out to do his dealings. "I'll be back later." He slammed the door shut behind me as he left. I leaned my head back as I stared lifelessly at the floor. I didn't understand anything anymore. The man I loved took his anger on me… and I didn't know why. I also didn't know why I still love and care for him when he does this to me. My complete family has abandoned me now. Maybe this was where I was and truly meant to be; By Billy's side. Maybe this is the only life I was cut out for now. It was all I knew now. Ever since I was 17 its all I've now. I learned how to survive in a gang and that's how my life was going to be.

I'd die alone… or die with the gang…


	8. I don't want to be afraid

**It's More Than I Can Take**

**A Death Sentence Fan Fiction**

**Inspired by: "Let Go" By RED**

**[and other songs by RED]**

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT own anything from the movie Death Sentence. The only person I own is Bella.**

**Author Note: Thanks to Kaye Murphy, StarStellar, and ashes101 for reviewing. Wow. Sorry guys. Not even sure if anyone is even reading this anymore...I hate that I forget about certain stories. So I stumbled upon this on my USB drive and wanted to continue it where I left off. Sorry if there are any errors. It has been awhile since i've seen the movie. Enjoy and sorry again for the wait.**

**Chapter 8:**

I stood on the balcony letting the cold wind blow my hair around. I watched all the people walking down at the streets below. Most people standing at their corners like a daily routine. Selling all types of drugs and weapons. This… was my lifestyle. This was what I did for the man I love. Was it worth it? I seem to think so. I always told myself I would do anything for Billy, no matter the cost. I took a sip of my beer and leaned against the rail as I continued to stare aimlessly. All I had left was the gang and Billy. They were my only family. I knew I was going to have to harden up or I was going to die early. I remembered when I never cared. The first couple years when I was with Billy. Then I turned 20 and I started to really think about things. Within those three years so much had happened. My brother and his fiancé tried to get me out of this lifestyle and for that… she died. My parents, my brother, even my friends, they all disowned me. All except for Kasey, who now for the good of her sister, is avoiding me. From this moment on, I keep telling myself, I don't care and I take shit from no one. And I mean No One.

The front door opened and closed. I heard keys fall on the counter and footsteps walking around.

"Bella?" I heard Billy call after a bit.

"I didn't run away…" I said and I heard the screen door slide open. Billy's hands slid down from my sides to my hips.

"Just making sure…" He said softly into my neck.

"I'm not going anywhere. I did a lot of thinking…" I said and turned to face him. "I belong with you. You're all I have left… You're all I ever wanted. I don't need anyone but you and the gang." I said and Billy smirked.

He got his way and he was satisfied now. He kissed me roughly as he held me tightly. My hands went to his neck. I could taste the cigarette on his breath. Still fresh meaning it wasn't too long ago that he had it. He held me in his arms refusing to let me go as I placed my head on his shoulder, taking in the scent of his leather jacket. At this moment, I realized that even if I didn't want to be here, I was stuck. It was this or death.

I guess that was why my parents tried to get me out before I was too deep in. It was too late now though. If I tried to run, people knew me and they would turn me in. That's only if Billy and the gang didn't find me first. I'm not going to lie… I'm afraid to run again. I don't want to get hurt worse than Billy ever has before. I was so deep in that death was all there was to save me. Personally, I'd like to live.

"We're going out tonight, you should come along." Billy said.

Now to clear things up… When Billy says you should come… It means _"You're coming. I'm keeping my eye on you_." There is no denying him. Probably why I never questioned him or told him no.

"Alright." I said as I headed back into the house. "What time?" I asked.

"In a couple of hours so be ready." He replied and I nodded.

"I'm going to go take a shower." I pecked his lips lightly and went into the bathroom.

I closed the door and turned the shower to warm. The glass began to fog up as I looked at my reflection. A bruise had slightly formed on the sides of my neck. No doubt on the back of my neck as well. A slight bump was also on my head from when I was slammed into the wall. I sighed as I took a final glance at myself before going into the shower. As I looked at myself, I began to wonder what it would have been like if I chose to be with Joe. Joe would have never treated me this way. As much as Joe hated to see the shape I was in, I knew he would never stand up to his brother.

At this point, I don't think Joe really gives a damn about me to even want to stick up for me. I did treat him like shit when all he ever did was treat me with respect. I guess what they say is true, "Nice guys finish last."

* * *

"Babe lets go!" I heard him yell from the kitchen as I got dressed in the bedroom after my shower.

"Is Joe coming tonight?" I asked.

"No I don't think so." He said as he lit up a new cigarette. "Said he was busy with something." He just shrugged as we headed to the car. We didn't share many words on the way to the bar. I honestly didn't mind too much. The whole gang was already inside and at the usual table when we got inside. Most of them had already had enough to get themselves wasted.

"There they are!" Bodie shouted and everyone exchanged "Welcomes" with us. I sat by Billy, of course, and drank most of my night away as they talked. How was I suppose to live with the life I had laid out for myself when I could barely even enjoy my time with my new "family." Part of me wished that I had never thought to deeply into anything. Maybe if I lived my life without the questions, I would be fine right now. I would have been happy as ever with him as I was before. Maybe I'm just being naive.

As our night at the bar came to a close, Billy was wasted but refused to let me drive us home. I had to take the wheel a couple times, but otherwise we surprisingly made it home alive. We made it up to our floor and Billy passed out as soon as he hit the bed. I stood at the doorway sighed. I knew I couldn't sleep until I took care of some unfinished business.

* * *

I took his Billy's car keys and made my way over to Joe's apartment. Now that Joe was out of jail, I had more time to talk to him and get all the past troubles behind us. I wanted to move on and make things better. I needed him in my life. I hate that I hurt him and I didn't want him to hate me for the rest of my life. I parked in the closest spot to his apartment and rang his buzzer a few times. There came no response and the door was never clicked open.

"Come on Joe... Where are you?"

I assumed surely after buzzing so many times that he would end up answer. After ringing it a couple more times, I gave up. I figured I could always call him in the morning or just drop by. As I looked for the car keys in my purse, someone caught my eye.

I looked up and saw a man laying by the dumpster. The common sense part of my brain screamed at me to go to the car and not bother the person. This way, I couldn't get myself into a worse situation then I was already in. But, the compassionate part of me knew I could not leave someone there. Especially if they could be hurt.

"Sir... Are you okay?" As I reached them I knelt down and flipped them over slightly to glance at their face.

"No... no... no... no!" I cried as I grabbed onto Joe. "Please no. Joe! Say something please!" I screamed. I cried out to him over and over to wake up. I could smell blood and saw that he had been stabbed.

"I'm so sorry Joe... I'm sorry." I sobbed into him as I held him tight.

"Somebody help!" I screamed. "Somebody please!"

I held onto him until the police arrived.

No one would care. People would see him on the news and just see him as some gang delinquent. They would say good riddance to him. I couldn't though. I loved Joe even if it wasn't in the way he always wanted. He was still a friend to me. He was there when I needed him the most and in his dying hour, I was drowning my sorrows.

There was one person I knew who would care about Joe's death, and he was the one man I was afraid to tell...


End file.
